


I'll Tell You A Little Something

by iblesstherain



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Innocent Eddie Kaspbrak, Platonic Relationships, Rated teen for the Trashmouth's vulgar vocabulary and talking about sex, Reddie, Sex Talk, Young boyyos, they don't have sex, they just learn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 01:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13377213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iblesstherain/pseuds/iblesstherain
Summary: Eddie likes to think he's grown up. Richie likes to think otherwise.Also known as the fic where Richie Tozier gives an innocent (but extremely stubborn) Eddie Kaspbrak The Talk.





	I'll Tell You A Little Something

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all this is my first fic. Wrote it in about 20 minutes so please ignore the a.) awful writing and b.) atrocious grammar/spelling. I just thought it was a pretty funny idea that I could totally see happening and wanted to at least get a couple ideas down. If you want me to write something longer and have some ideas, leave a comment and I'll be happy to make a revised version. Enjoy!

Eddie Kaspbrak was only ten years old, but he liked to think he knew about “adult things.” He knew that Bill had kissed a few girls who thought his stutter was cute, he knew that Stan wanted nothing to do with girls-or people in general, for that matter- and most importantly, he knew that Richie Tozier really liked to “fuck.”

 

That was a kind of kissing, right?

 

From what Eddie had picked up from countless mom jokes, this was a kind of kissing that involves your tongue. And boobs. And your dick. And other parts of the body that Eddie’s mom had always referred to as “private parts.” Funny, Eddie thought, his mom had never mentioned a kind of kissing that involved those parts.

 

Okay, so maybe Eddie didn't actually know that much about “adult stuff.” Unfortunately, he wasn't the only person to pick up on this. And it was this single fact that led to his demise.

 

They were all sleeping in Eddie's room, as his mother wouldn't let him sleep over anyone else’s house. Bill and Stan were on the floor, sleeping on piles of blankets pillows. Eddie was in his own twin bed, Richie pressed against him, whispering nonsensical one-liners and vulgar bullshit into Eddie's ear. It was a real shame the other boys weren't awake to protect Eddie from humiliation as Richie began to interrogate the smaller boy about his knowledge on the concept of “adult stuff.”

 

“Hey Eds,” Richie whispered. “I'm sorry I'm keeping you up tonight-”

 

“Every night, you mean?”

 

“-I'm just really excited about getting to screw your mom in the morning. She's such a cougar-she loves it-!”

 

“Jesus Christ, Richie!” Eddie almost sobbed. “That's disgusting! Shut the fuck up!”

 

“What's so disgusting about fucking, Eds?” 

 

Silence. Eddie didn't know what to say. He didn't know what was disgusting about fucking. He just knew he did not want Richie or his “fucking” anywhere near his mother.

 

“You do know about fucking… right Eds?”

 

Eddie’s blood runs cold. Not from the concept of fucking itself, but from the prospect of having Richie Trashmouth Fucking Tozier teach him about it.

 

“You don't! You're ears are virgins as much as your wang is!”

 

“They're not, actually.”

 

“Yeah, they're not, my ass. Tell you what-”

 

“Don't tell me anything, actually.” 

 

“I'll tell you a little something about fucking.”

 

Well, it wouldn't hurt to know, would it? He could be prepared that way. Surely, allowing Richie to tell him about fucking would only be a way to help Eddie avoid it.

 

“... okay. I guess you can tell me some things.” His words probably sounded as unsure as he felt. He knew Richie could see right through his facade, but he made sure to add a hasty “I'll probably already know it all though.” before allowing his friend to take over.

 

“Well, you see, my dear innocent young lad,” his voice took on the persona of a proper, wealthy man from England. “Fucking is how everyone is created. A man and a woman fuck, and poof. A baby is born!”

 

“You mean, in order to have a baby… I'll have to do fucking?”

 

“Of course.” He sounded like Richie again, which may have been worse than the Englishman. “But there's more to it than just that. It's a delicate process. You see, during fucking, a man puts his junk into the woman's private parts.”

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“No. It's supposed to feel really good.”

 

“You mean you haven't, like, done any fucking before?”

 

“Me? No. But don't tell anyone. I've got a reputation to uphold.” This surprised Eddie. It surprised him even more than what Richie said fucking was.

 

“Wait, isn't it a type of kissing?”

 

“Well, yeah. There can be kissing.”

 

Eddie asked his next question. “Have you ever kissed a girl Richie?” Eddie knew Richie talked a lot about kissing. They were with each other almost 24/7, if anybody knew that, it was Eddie. He figured that if his best friend was willing to open up to him about not ever fucking before, he might tell Eddie whether or not he had ever kissed someone.

 

Eddie had kissed someone before. Richie had dared him to kiss Dot Summers on the playground a couple years ago. Dot said that Eddie was pretty cute, but she didn't want to be caught kissing someone in the Loser’s club. That was weird, nobody did that. Eddie understood and walked back to Richie, who was, of course, laughing hysterically by the swings.

 

“Of course I've kissed a girl.” Richie proclaimed. In the faint glow of his night light, however, Eddie could make out a blush on Richie's freckled cheeks. “These lips were made for kissing. They've done it a thousand times.”

 

Now that Eddie got to thinking about it, he hadn't really enjoyed the kiss with Dot. he turned around so that he could face Richie. “Have you ever kissed a boy?”

 

“No!” Richie made gagging noises as he answered what Eddie intended to be an honest question. “And I don't intend to, so don't get any ideas!”

 

Eddie shoved him, red in the face from both anger and embarrassment. “I don't have any ideas! Shut up trash mouth!”

 

Trashmouth fell off the bed and Stan groaned from beneath him. Eddie huffed to himself as Bill reprimanded him for causing a ruckus.

 

“Go to bed guys, Stan and I are trying to sleep!”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” the Trashmouth opened his mouth, and from what Eddie could hear, garbage began to pour out. “Eddie shoved me and I could have broken a limb, but I'll keep hush hush for you Big Bill!”

 

Eddie should never have invited his friends over his house for a sleepover. There were many reasons, and you could probably guess that his best friend was rather high on that list.


End file.
